feels as a bad dream, that I can wake up and Sinatra is alive in front of me.. But it is not a bad dream, it is reality! My sweetheart is no longer alive, does not come up to me with his tail in the air when I sing his song, is no longer with me in bed to
cuddle and I miss him , I miss him so much now! No peace in my body, looking each time how it goes with the other cats, jump up by every sound we hear.. Difficult decisions we had to make, autopsy yes or no, my child give away to strangers and not see him
back, I can't do that espacially not because for us and our vet it is clear that he passed away of a acute cardiac arrest. We have him now in a soft basket where he is or he is sleeping, this morning we bring him to the crematorium, we say goodbye, look for
an urn, one specially for Sinatra. And then we bring him back home, then my sweetheart is back home, where he must be forever, where always is love for him and where his friends live. I follow my feeling, the way it's gone so quickly, so unexpectedly, he was
not sick, I saw him a little time before he was death and all was okay, a happy boy, good look in his eyes, not sick or unhappy. And not yet 30 minutes later he is walking and falls dead on the ground, in the middle of the floor near the window where he'd
always looked outside, clearly visible that he has not felt that he was going to die, I feel that it was his heart, I am sure that he has had no pain and fortunately he has not suffered, perhaps his friends were there when it happend, maybe they would have
seen it happen because Rico was by him when we saw Sinatra lying on the ground. I'm glad I was home, I am almost always at home but now I am very happy that I was, I was working on the laptop, no music or television and all the sweethearts were sleeping so
as they always do in the afternoon. It was so quiet in the house, as Sinatra has made sound before he died than I had definitely heard that and I have see him a little time before and that there was nothing wrong with him, also in the morning he was eating
with happiness of the meat with wetfood so as he always did.
The sorrow is so big, the big loss and the silence is even quieter.
He had recently his first birthday, it's so unfair!
I miss you my sweetheart, so much! Thank you for all the love that you have
give me , now you are with Dico and Ziva and I am sure on one day we see each other back! In my heart you live forever, I am so thankful that I had can enjoy all your love and happiness.